i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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