let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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