? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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