ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
