I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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