Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
