Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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