Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize