the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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