I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize