i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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