Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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