Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
