I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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