God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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