kristin has been a bad kristin
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
