my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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