I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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