didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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