I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
