So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
