Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i barfeds in our rink
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
