I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
