How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
