this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
