Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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