I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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