WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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