i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
