someone get that fucking seahorse.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
