who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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