i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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