Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
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