either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
