bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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