We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
