afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
