so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
