Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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