Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
