i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
