And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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