if you like me you must not know who I am
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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