I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
