I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
