booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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