I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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