Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
