This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
sex in a hospital.. check
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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