i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
