Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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