He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
