Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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