Me too!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
