Have you finally orgasmed yet?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
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I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
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WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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