You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
