So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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