I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
