Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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