i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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