sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
