Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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