Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
