Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
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My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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