Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
