does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
