No stitches, just platelets and will power
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
