Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't deserve a penis
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
