We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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