I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
